Hello lovelies,
I have some devastating news, at least it is to me. I learned yesterday that my family could not afford to send me to college this semester. Needless to say that I cried so hard I had a headache. I called my Big, and she came over to make me feel better but there was not much she could say that would ease the hurt. Joe came over and he kind of treated it like a "Oh well, onto bigger and better things for you!" which only made me sadder. There are so many things I wanted to accomplish this semester too... I had a wonderful independent study already approved and I was going to do my internship at the Women's Center in Lock Haven. I cannot describe how much of a slap in the face it felt to hear that.
But I know that it hurt my parents too, to tell me that. It was not easy for my dad to announce on the phone that it was his fault and he wishes he had more money for me. It was probably even harder hearing my mother weeping in the background either. I've been asked to not mention it to my other siblings because it would probably scare them. Plus they're young enough to believe that our family is a lot more put together financially than it is. One thing is for damn sure, I never want to make that call to my child.
And on a less important note, not going back to school means not being apart of Sigma Sigma Sigma this semester. I didn't think Greek Life would mean that much to me, but I will miss it. My big told me that it wouldn't change a thing and that they would still include me in everything they could. To be a participating sister though you have to be a full time student and I'm not even a student anymore :\
So I continued my job hunt ten times harder than I had before. This time I'm requesting full time positions, which I seem to have more luck in getting responses with. I have an interview at the UrbanOutfitters in State College, PA on monday for a Team Leader full time position (I'm not going to lie, I'm really really REALLY excited for that one). I also have an interview tomorrow morning at a hotel restaurant as a waitress/maid. I have to ride out the lease on my apartment until May and then I'll take it from there.
Maybe I'll be back in the fall semester. Who knows really? Maybe this is just life telling me that I need to go in another direction, that it's okay. Maybe this is a new adventure.
